Let's Talk About Generational Trauma

I want to talk to you about generational trauma. Although it is not a light subject, it is a very relevant and frequently misunderstood one. “Trauma” literally means wound, shock, or injury, and psychological trauma could be defined as the experience of emotional distress resulting from an event that overwhelms the capacity to emotionally process it. That said, generational trauma refers to pain and hurt that is passed on to us, even without having experienced the said event(s). Imagine someone in your family tree experiencing a traumatic event.

This could be war, severe loss, or abuse. This would have left emotional scars that, when not healed properly, would influence the way they feel and act. When they have children, even though the event itself is in the past, because of this wound that has not healed properly, they might not know how to handle stressful situations, how to show love and affection appropriately, or how to communicate appropriately. 

When we are children, we are little sponges. We observe our family’s behaviors and learn these behaviors and how to handle emotions through observation. Even if the event did not happen to us, we will still emulate and carry the repercussions of that event from the behaviors we see in our family.

The good news is that generational trauma is not a dead-end road, nor is it something that cannot be helped. We might not be able to heal the wounds of our grandparents or parents, but we can heal ourselves from them and prevent them from being passed on to our children. Therefore, keep in mind that it is okay to reach out for assistance if you feel as though you are carrying hurt feelings that are not your own. There are plenty of tools and capable people who can help you on this journey and support you as these wounds turn into scars, and you break free from the past’s grip.

One of the most effective ways to work through generational trauma is by seeking a therapist or counsellor, so you have a safe space to explore the deep-seated wounds that come with traumatic events: to understand its roots, how it manifests in your life, and how to break the cycle for future generations.

If you are in a situation where you feel overwhelmed and/or triggered, there are two exercises I would like to recommend: mindful breathing and physical grounding.

Mindful breathing involves focusing on your breath to bring awareness to the present moment. The way I like to do it is to take slow, deep breaths through my nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through my mouth. While I am breathing in, I focus on the sensation of the cold air on the tip of my nose, and then when exhaling, I focus on the sensation of warm air on the inner part of my lips. At the same time you are doing this, you can also do physical grounding exercises, which involve engaging your senses by focusing on the particular texture of an object or a specific sound. I like to go outside barefoot, engaging with the sensation of the earth touching the soles of my feet, while at the same time listening to the surrounding sounds. This helps me return to the now and slows down my thoughts, especially when I feel like I am spiraling. 

And remember, if you are struggling, please ask for help. You can always call the crisis and intake line at 604.687.1867 or toll-free at 1.855.687.1868.