Why Knowing Your Own Value Changes Everything In Relationships
The way you feel about yourself can often shape and change the way other people treat you. This also plays a part in your relationships. Your idea of self-worth can set a tone for how others see and interact with you.
But what happens when self-doubt creeps in? It can lead to unhealthy patterns, leaving you feeling unheard, unfulfilled, and even unappreciated.
So, how do you build that solid foundation of self-worth? And why does it play such an important role in your connections with others? Let’s talk about it.
When you respect yourself, others follow
When you let yourself be treated as an afterthought, it’s easy for others to do the same. People take cues from you, and if you show them how much respect you have for yourself through your words, actions, and boundaries, they are far more likely to do the same.
When you act confident, you are more likely to speak clearly and not second-guess yourself or your needs, which in turn will make it less likely for you to settle for less than you deserve. When you doubt yourself, however, you might let things slide, allow people to push your boundaries, or try too hard to please people who don’t really deserve it. Confidence is key.
Confidence changes the way you connect
When you are around someone who knows their own worth, it's easy to see. It can be seen in the way they carry themselves, in the way they don’t apologize for taking up space, and in the way they remove themselves from situations that are not in their best interest.
This internal quiet confidence and feeling of self-worth keeps relationships healthy. It also allows for peace and balance as you're not seeking validation or bending over backward all the time. Instead, you bring your full self to the show, knowing you deserve to be valued, not for what you can sacrifice but for who you are!
Boundaries Aren't Walls. They're Filters
When you have a strong sense of self-worth, you don't stay in relationships that drain you. You don't tolerate partners who don’t meet your needs, and you don't say “yes” when you mean “no”. You recognize your own value, and setting boundaries stops feeling like a struggle and becomes easy.
More often than not, people believe that setting boundaries can push people away. But it actually does the opposite. Boundaries create clear expectations about what you are okay with and what you are not. You will naturally weed out those who are not able to respect you and those who are.
You Can Stop Accepting the Bare Minimum
Real love and respect - in friendships, family, and intimate relations - comes from a place of mutual understanding and should not feel one-sided. When we have a strong sense of self-worth, we easily recognize if a partner isn't putting in the effort or when a friend is using us to get something.
How to Strengthen Your Self-Worth
It’s easy to read this and think, “Ok… but how do I find this self-confidence, and how do I start building my self-worth?”
So here are some tips;
Pay attention to your internal thoughts and voice: Would you speak to a friend or partner like this? If not, then do not speak to yourself like this.
Keep good people around you: Who you choose to surround yourself with can change the environment you live in.
Stop justifying yourself: You don't need to justify your boundaries, feelings, or choices to anyone.
Take the small wins. Celebrate every time you put yourself first - when you walk away from negativity, when you speak up for your needs, or hold a boundary - you are looking after yourself and building your self-worth.
The Bottom Line
Before you decide to spend too much time thinking about how others treat you, think about how you treat yourself. Self-worth starts with YOU!
Start putting yourself first and treating yourself as you would a loved one. This will set the tone for how others see and treat you. If you see yourself as someone who is deserving of respect, love, and effort, then you will attract and allow other people to treat you that way. When you constantly undermine yourself and question your own value, you make it easy to fall into relationships with people who do not respect or value you.
Be good to yourself, and others will follow.