Every therapist I know has a list. It's not written down anywhere. It lives somewhere between your chest and your notes app, and it's full of questions you've never asked out loud.
Not because they're silly. Because you're worried about what asking them says about you.
The list usually sounds something like this
If you work with kids and families, a few of these might feel familiar:
Am I allowed to see this teenager without telling their parent?
What do I actually say when a parent asks me to write a letter for court?
Is it normal that I dread this one family's session every single week?
I forgot a consent step. How bad is that, really?
Why do I feel like a fraud when a parent says, "You're the expert"?
How do other therapists stop thinking about a session on the drive home?
If you've thought even one of these, you're not behind. You're paying attention.
Why we keep them to ourselves
Early in my career, I didn't always feel safe going to someone when I wasn't sure. I'd sit with a question for days, sometimes weeks, quietly hoping I'd figure it out before anyone noticed I didn't know.
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us picked up the idea that good therapists already have the answers. That asking means you missed something in school. That a supervisor or colleague might think less of you.
So the questions stay on the list. And the list gets heavier.
What unasked questions cost
Here's what I've learned since 2012: the questions you're scared to ask are almost always the ones that matter most. They're about consent, safety, courts, two households, and your own nervous system at the end of a long day. They're the real work.
When they go unasked, therapists burn out quietly, second-guess good instincts, or avoid the families who need them most. Not because they aren't skilled, but because nobody gave them a room where it was safe to say "I don't know."
A few questions to sit with
What's the question you've been carrying the longest?
Who taught you that not knowing was something to hide?
What would change in your work if you could ask it this week?
So I built that room
Small Hands, Big Questions Mentorship is twelve months for BC therapists and master's students who work with children, youth and families, starting February 2027. Live classes, private calls with me, and a small group where the questions on your list are the whole point. No question is too small, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Join the waitlist for exclusive pricing. No risk, no obligation. You'll also get my private podcast, sent to you personally. Want the full rundown first? See the program details.
Bring your list. I'll bring mine.
Elizabeth Nardella, MSW, RSW, RCC · Small Hands, Big Questions Mentorship